


When I Fell in Love with You

by cadlg7



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel, Dean in Denial, Home Invasion, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Sam, Masturbation, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Obsessive Dean Winchester, Photographer Castiel, Possessive Castiel, Possessive Dean Winchester, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Fantasy, Soldier Dean, Temporary Gadreel/Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3247610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadlg7/pseuds/cadlg7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a photographer looking for a roommate that could help him cope with his loneliness and he unexpectedly finds that in the discharged soldier of Dean Winchester, who walks into his home one night believing his brother still lived there. As their friendship and romance blossoms, Castiel begins to face many struggles, from Dean's denial, to him meeting another man who makes him happy, but he can never tell himself that he isn't falling in love.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**1**

_WANTED: ROOMATE_

_Rent: $300 or less monthly._

_Looking for a male or female roommate to have in the three room house I live in. Due to the amount of time I have to myself I’ve figured that I am in need of company or just someone to talk to, really. Spending too much time alone has made me reflect on myself and I don’t really need that at the moment._

_Fully furnished room with cable television and internet will be provided. Located in the beautiful and well-established town of Barrington._

_If interested and for more information about the house and I, please contact._

 

Castiel was not satisfied with his ad, it spoke very little, it sent a small message. It had been the fifth, maybe sixth, time he’d rewritten it and he still made himself sound uninviting. How was he expecting to find a roommate with a dull ad like this one?

It was nine o’clock, almost ten, at night, and his eyes still refused to sleep. His body and mind were tired but his eyes refused to stay closed for more than thirty seconds. It was nights like those that often brought him to make himself some tea that would help him sleep but every time he did that, he’d excess his resting hours and wake up more tired than he’d want.

The purpose of him getting a house so big was because it was meant for him and his brother and in the beginning, it had started that way. Cas, Gabriel, and Balthazar had all lived happily in the three room house, until Gabe and Balthy decided they wanted lives of their own, homes for themselves, neither of which they had to share with each other anymore.

After they moved out, it was easy for Cas to keep the house cleaner and for him to do his job properly without loud and unexplained noises to disturb his concentration. But then, slowly, the silence and loneliness began to consume and weigh on him, he realized he was in need of company, and that he wanted someone to talk to and laugh with the same way he did with his brothers.

To cope with that, every now and then, Cas would bring a ‘friend’ over, some guy he’d meet at the bar usually, and spend the night with them in the anticipation that he’d develop a cute relationship with them only to have his hopes crushed when the man would disappear the next morning. Every time that happened, he had trouble understanding what he had done wrong, if he had done anything at all.

This had been going on for four months, thirteen days.

After minutes of silence and staring into blank space, Castiel’s eyes returned to the screen of his laptop. For a brief moment, he thought about writing it again and make himself sound more fun and sociable the next time he typed it but then he thought that if he did that, he might actually find someone who would only be received with pure disappointment.

Castiel was not exactly the social butterfly he appeared to be. He knew how to talk to people when someone forced him into it but not at his own will. He wouldn’t walk up to a person and give them directions, no; the person had to come to _him_.

If only both his brothers had had the time to teach him properly.

He grabbed his phone to look at the time and it was now ten. He should’ve been asleep by now, he had work tomorrow at eight in the morning. Cas was very appreciative of his sleeping hours as much as his body was. If he slept an hour late, then he’d wake up an hour late. It was how his system liked to work. He was set up to sleep at eight and wake up at six, so that he could have breakfast at seven.

He closed his laptop and put it on his nightstand. He undid the sheets to cover himself from the cold that would always enter his room every night.

Cas knew he needed a heater, especially with those October night winds threatening December colds. It’s not that he didn’t have the time to buy a new one or fix the old heater his brother Gabriel had left behind; he just didn’t feel like doing it.

For half an hour, the quiet Castiel shifted around his bed, trying different positions that would help him fall into a relaxing slumber. The more he moved, the hotter his body became, the more sheets were thrown aside. Every night since his brothers left had been that way because it always brought him down to the same assumptions of what could possibly have gone wrong that they’d want to leave. He understood that they wanted a life of their own, but they shouldn’t have left the way they had: without saying a word to Castiel.

But even the thirty minutes of thought and failed attempts at sleeping didn’t prepare Castiel for a sound that abruptly broke the silence that surrounded him. It was a loud sound of the door to his house opening with heavy footsteps following.

Could someone have broken in? What could they possibly want from him? Why would they break into his house, did they think he had some sort of value hidden?

Castiel stood up from his bed, the tiredness his body was feeling was all gone. What if the person downstairs was one of his brothers coming back? No, it couldn’t be, they would tell him first, well, Balthazar would at least.

The sounds downstairs continued, this time of _one, two, three_ bags dropping on the floor. Maybe it was one of them. But why wouldn’t they call? Had they become too prideful? Still, he couldn’t trust his instincts, what if it was some serial killer that carried duffel bags full of torture instruments and he couldn’t wait to find Castiel to use them on him.

It took him five minutes to gather up enough courage to carefully open the door to his room and walk into the dark hallway. He tried to be as quiet as he could be and somehow, managed to accomplish it.

He made his way to the closet where he kept things he never thought would use but were too good to throw away. He quickly reached for the metal bat that used to belong to his brother Balthazar.

Cas moved gingerly down the stairs, being extra careful not to make a noise, as he feared that the person that was in his kitchen, would attack him. He knew that with his frame, he wouldn’t cause severe damage onto the man, but it’d give him enough time to run away.

The man stood in his kitchen, the light of the open fridge gave Cas a view of his figure. He was tall and built. He wished he could see his face but the shadows of the rooms were covering everything above his torso.

“Sammy?” The deep voice called, “Is that you?” Apparently Castiel had not been quiet enough because the man had heard him and damn, he had an attractive voice.

Castiel hid behind the wall as he heard footsteps coming near his location. He prepared himself with his bat to attack. “Sam?” He heard the man repeat. Who was Sam? Was it his partner in crime?

“Oh man,” Cas whispered, he was beginning to feel dizzy, and the weight of having a possible criminal in his home and another one named Sam. He felt like he could faint but the courage that was accumulating inside him that was shouting at him to protect his home, kept him at his feet.

The footsteps stopped and Castiel took that opportunity to walk into his kitchen and turn on the lights so that he could get a better look at who he’d be ambushing with his bat. He wasn’t expecting to face a six-foot-one man in cargo pants and a dark green shirt staring at him. If he was a robber, he was not disguised properly.

“Who are you?” _He_ was the one asking Castiel.

“I should be the one asking you that.” Castiel’s voice was barely audible. He couldn’t help himself from staring like an idiot at the handsome young man that stood in his kitchen and was drinking one of his orange sodas.

The man placed his hand on the bat Castiel was holding and brought down without having to use much force. Then again, Castiel wasn’t really fighting back because he was too distracted by this man’s beauty. He was beyond any of the guys he’d been with. He had dashing apple green eyes and dark blond hair. His nose and cheeks were adorned with freckles right above the beard he was growing, that only made him far more dashing. Oh, god no.

“Where’s Sam?”

“Sam? I don’t know a Sam,” His voice was still low but it was clearer than the first time. He had faint memories of a Sam but he was doubtful that it was the same one he was referring to.

“Sam, he lives here. He’s my brother.”

“No, Sam was the last owner of this place before I moved in.” Castiel tried to distance himself but every time he did, the stranger moved closer.

“He moved out without telling me? Son of a bitch.” Cas wasn’t very fond of cussing. He hated it when his brothers would do it, he didn’t see why a hot guy would be any different. “How long was it since he moved, do you know where?”

“Um,” Castiel settled the bat on the floor, “I don’t know where he moved because it’s none of my business to ask.” It was hard for Cas to keep his eyes from the man’s, they were unbelievably charming, he could stare at them all day. “So, like, is that all you need?” His blue eyes spotted the bags that were on the floor, the one on top had the initials _D.W._ on top of a patch that said _U.S. ARMY_. The bags underneath were the same. “You’re army?”

“ _Was_.” He corrected, “I was discharged two weeks ago.”

“Well, thank you so much for serving our country.” For the first time in weeks, Cas had smiled and it felt nice even though at the same was weird. He stretched his hand, “I’m Castiel Novak.”

The man seemed to be taken aback by Castiel’s sudden trust in him, could it be just because he was army? “Dean Winchester.” He took Castiel’s hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

“Right.” Castiel nodded then went back to look at Dean. His eyes were unavoidable, no matter what, all Cas wanted to do was to stare into Dean’s eyes. They were perfect for the type of photography he did. They were perfect in general.

“Look, I apologize for all the commotion I caused you, it wasn’t my intention to scare you and for drinking your soda. I better go now, but…it was nice to meet you, Cas.”

 _Cas_ , it had been a while since anyone had called him that. Last person who did were his brothers but that had been twelve years back, then suddenly they just stopped calling him Cas and he really liked that nickname rather than Cassie, which was what Gabriel was calling him now.

“No, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.” He looked down to his bare feet, Dean was handsome and he couldn’t help himself from telling him— “Listen, uh, I have an extra room. It’s late and I was wondering if you’d like to spend the night here.” He immediately saw the confusion in his eyes, “ _I have an extra room_ ," He repeated before he continued, "and you can use it and just sleep there until morning. You don’t have to of course, it’s just a suggestion.” He thought it was the least he could say to the soldier that was obviously tired.

Dean smiled at the blue eyed man that constantly stared sheepishly at him, “You sure? I mean, I could be a serial killer for all you know.”

“You could be, but I trust that you’re not.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

The morning seemed to arrive earlier for Castiel than he had wanted. There was a handsome stranger soldier in his home, how could he possibly be sleeping? All he could possibly think of was him and his grass-green eyes.

He sat up, the small sunlight of six in the morning, hitting his back as he sat on the edge of his bed. Castiel wasn't as tired as he usually was every working day. His assumption since he had woken up at four thirty in the morning had been that there was a complete stranger sleeping in the guest room.

Sure, the man was extremely and undeniably hot but he was still a stranger. He didn’t want to end up like that one movie he’d seen where a soldier just as attractive as Dean Winchester showed up to a family’s house and he killed most of the members in the end. Cas didn’t want to end up like mother of that movie, stabbed to death for being kind.

Castiel couldn’t understand why he was so flustered by the sudden appearance of Dean Winchester into his life. He had brought home guys just as handsome as him in the past and dated a few and he didn’t feel as trusting as he did with him. The feeling was odd, he couldn’t piece together, and he hated the sensation of it. Dean was a stranger, a possible serial killer rapist, and he had just allowed him into his home. He blindfolded himself the moment he heard Dean’s voice the other night, and he walked right into his trap.

“How could you be so stupid?” He told himself. How could he be? How did his crotch manage to think stronger than his brain?

Cas stood up and put on a shirt. He _had_ to get rid of Dean before he did something chaotic or before the blindfold covering his eyes tightened up again. There was a determination firing up inside him, ready to let go to kick out the soldier.

The house was silent, so quiet it was almost intoxicating; not even the birds were chirping, it was dead silent. Maybe Dean had left after all. Maybe he wasn’t the killer Castiel had assumed and he kept his word on leaving in the morning. He could breathe now, his worries were gone. _Dean_ the soldier was gone.

At least that was what he thought until he heard something drop from the room he never let anyone in. It was from the room where Cas kept his photography projects.

Castiel was a photographer, the best and only one of his small town in Washington. He owned a shop where he mostly took family photos and pictures that the newspaper liked to use for their articles. When he wasn’t doing that he liked to photograph himself, he used to do it a lot with his brothers but after they moved out, Castiel had no other option but to do it on his own.

A little after his brothers left, Castiel used one room to hang all of his pictures. If a person were to go in there, they’d assume him narcissistic but they had to understand how unbelievably photogenic he was and how perfect his pictures would turn out.

Castiel slowly pushed the door open. Dean was picking up the pictures and papers from the box he had dropped. He was glad it wasn’t one of the sensitive family albums where it showed Cas in his embarrassing teen years. “Hey.” Dean greeted with a bright grin, “Sorry if I woke you up.”

He should’ve scolded him, told him that he was in no position to be in Castiel’s photography room and that he was surpassing his limitations. “It’s fine,” He simply said instead. How was he letting him get away with this?

Dean settled the box back where he had found it, “This was my old room and I wanted to see if some of my old stuff was still here.” He shook his head in disappointment, “My brother took everything with him.”

“Or my brother Gabriel could’ve found it and sold it on eBay.”

“Did he really?” He questioned after raising an eyebrow.

“The house was pretty empty when we got here so…I doubt it.” Castiel walked to the tables where he kept pictures of himself. Well, more like the pictures where he looked silly or where he was doing dumb things with his brothers. He couldn’t have Dean seeing that.

“You really like taking pictures of yourself, huh?” Dean chuckled, approaching the wall full of Castiel. One may thing this as a joke, but Castiel would spend too much time alone that he started to take pictures of himself, mostly because he thought his eyes were camera-worthy, and it filled up an entire wall and half of another.

Castiel thought that the discomfort he was feeling was only internal, but he could feel it forming on his face, “When you’re lonely you do things you don’t realize you’ll regret until someone asks about it.”

“Oh.” Dean didn’t think the topic would make his uncomfortable so he decided to change it, “Do you really have a tattoo like this one?” He pointed at a large framed picture that hung on the middle of the wall. It was one Castiel usually dismissed because it was the first one he had taken after his brothers moved out and it seemed a bit odd to him to acknowledge it again. It was a picture of his back, just a few moments after getting his tattoo.

He remembered Gabriel’s hours of trying to convince him to get one, to follow the family tradition and after Cas got the tattoo of the angel wings he had wanted, his brother captured it and printed a large picture of it to symbolize that Castiel was “truly a Novak now”, as Gabriel had quoted.

“Yeah.” He admitted. After he confirmed it, he hoped Dean wouldn’t ask him if he could show it to him because he wouldn’t, he didn’t care how handsome he was looking that morning.

“But why angel wings?”

“It’s sort of a tradition actually. Since everyone in my family is named after angels, my cousin Lucifer started this trend that at age of twenty-one we’d get a tattoo of angel wings on our backs that would represent our personality. Since I’m plain and simple, I got myself a tattoo that was plain and simple.”

“It’s nice though, it not exotic but it’s good to look at.”

Castiel didn’t know how to respond to that. This was basically his personality he was complimenting, this was his body he was flattering. He didn’t want to take this out of context but this was _flirting_.

And Dean realized that too. He didn’t want it to sound that way and maybe he hadn’t noticed that what he had said or how it could’ve been taken differently by the person standing next to him, “Um,” Dean began uneasily, he had to move one from the situation quickly before he got more awkward stares from the blue eyed man, “Are you a full time photographer or is this a hobby?”

“I own a shop.”

“You do?

“Yeah,” Castiel smiled, “It’s the only one in town, prevents the people from going all the way to Seattle if they want quality photos.”

“That’s nice of you.”

“My brothers suggested the idea, if they hadn’t I would have never opened it in the first place.” It was true, mostly. Balthazar was the one to nag him about it the most about how he could use his skills for something else than taking pictures of the backyard squirrels at his mother’s house.

It had been a terrible experience in the beginning, with Cas having to do everything on his own since finding a proper employee had been difficult, but later he started to get a hang on things and his path softened up a bit for him.

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

The conversation between Dean and Cas had continued an hour before Castiel realized that he hadn’t showered and he needed to leave. He didn’t have breakfast that morning so he bought a muffin from the coffee shop in front of his store.

It had been a long, _long_ , time since he had had a proper conversation with someone besides his brothers. It was nice to have somebody that was interested in his life. It was a feeling he liked. It made think of Dean on his drive to work. It was nice to have those green eyes focus on him with such interest the way Dean did.

Then he thought he’d never see Dean again, that the moment he had with him would be the last one he’ll spend with him.

“Cas? Are you okay?” The voice of a girl interrupted his train of thought. It had been confusing for him since he didn’t realize that thinking about Dean would erase the last hour, almost two hours, of his life. All those minutes seemed like two.

He hadn’t realized that his intern, Charlie Bradbury, had been standing there for almost five minutes waiting for him to open the door. “Oh, um, yeah.” How long had she been standing there? “When did you get here?” He unlocked the door and allowed her to go in first.

“Same time as always, man, eight-fifteen. I was surprised to see that you were late, you never are.” Twenty-one year old Charlie Bradbury from the community college of his town was the only applicant when Castiel had set up a volunteer list outside his shop. He was surprised to see that someone had actually signed their name and put their real phone number next to it with the expectations that he might call. When she arrived for the interview he was not expecting her to be fun or passionate about photography, he had assumed her to be just a student who wanted to get their community hours with. “What’s up with you? You seem hung-over.”

“I’m fine.” He assured her.

Charlie knew he wasn’t fine. She had known him too well to know when Castiel was lying and when he clearly wasn’t okay. “Is that guy still stalking you?”

“What? No, thankfully.”

“Then what is it?” She settled her bag on top of the counter.

How could a man he had just met the night before have so much effect on him? They had only had one conversation, how could that have started a fire inside him that slowly grew? “It’s nothing.” He whispered. Castiel wanted to tell her how he was feeling because she could help…but he also knew Charlie would try to take him through several extremities to find Dean and make them meet again after he was gone.

“I know something’s up and you don’t want to tell me for several reasons.” She frowned; she didn’t like it when he kept things from her. They were supposed to be best friends and tell each other everything but Cas refused to live up to the name. “But I understand—”

“Last night a handsome soldier walked into my house believing his brother still lived there and I offered him a room so he could spend the night—”

Charlie gasped “Is that why you were late? You slept with him?”

“No! I’m pretty sure he’s not into guys…but even if he was…it wouldn’t be me.”

“It would definitively be you, don’t be silly. You’re tall and handsome; he’d be a fool to not be interested in you.” Charlie smiled, trying to send a change of emotion into her friend’s head. Castiel was typically very serious, it was fun seeing him lose it over a guy, but this situation seemed different. He was frustrated by the mystery man that she was yet to meet. How bad was his case that Cas wasn’t telling him gushing all over about how hot the guy was?

“Thanks, Charlie…” He murmured. “His name is Dean Winchester, by the way.”

“Brother of Sam Winchester?”

“I’m guessing. How did you know that?”

“I know his hot girlfriend, Jessica Moore.”

“I forget you are friends with everyone in town.” Castile finally managed a smile, “But anyways, we should get to work, we have an appointment at nine and I need to set up.”

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

At six o’clock in the afternoon, after arriving home, Castiel took his daily run. It was an exercise he would do every day to avoid going to the gym and have weird muscular men giving his athletic figure a weird glare like if he had walked into the wrong place at the wrong time.

He used the run to lose the weight he had gained from Charlie’s lunch that day, lasagna with extra cheese, deliciously prepared but greasy and Castiel was the type of person to easily gain weight with the small bite of good food.

Castiel loved to run around in the park near his house with Mumford & Sons helping him waste the two hours of exercise he’d take. It also helped him with keeping his mind off Dean Winchester.

All he could think of that day was him, him and his gorgeous green candy apple colored eyes. He never thought he would come across eyes that would be as green as his. They were just as rare as his shade of blue.

He walked up his driveway, his breathing was heavy. Cas really needed a glass of water. It seemed as if he had run an extra mile that day. He reached for the keys of his house inside his pocket and was about to unlock his house when suddenly he heard a familiar voice behind him, “Hey.” It was that Hey he never thought he’d heard again, the one he believe was gone forever.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel wiped away his sweat from his forehead. “What…” He tried to catch his breath, “What are you doing here?”

“I saw your ad about a roommate online…I was wondering if the position was still open."


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

Living with Dean Winchester had turned out to be a lot easier for Castiel. He wasn’t the slob he thought he’d be. He was organized and clean, he maintained the house how it was supposed to be. Then again it had been only a week since he moved in and he wasn’t going to settle a bad image for Cas.

Dean didn’t waste time with readjusting in town either; he was quickly greeted by the people as if he had never left in the first place. Castiel hadn’t been that lucky when he moved in, he had been ignored. Dean had found a job as a mechanic with his friend Bobby and he had gotten his Chevy Impala back.

To Cas the car seemed in perfect condition, but Dean spent most of his free time fixing it or cleaning it even more. He never really cared about cars or what his new roommate did with his vehicle, but he did enjoy the image that’d come with it.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel said as he leaned against his car’s door, his hands holding to the glass of iced tea tightly. The sight of Dean continued to make him nervous.

It’s not like Dean made it any easier for him either. What made him think it was okay to wear a black shirt that really showed off the muscles of his arms and those knee-torn jeans that really hugged the figure of his incredible bow-legs. His dark blonde hair was messy, slightly tainted with the car oil that was on his fingertips. Dean was really irresistible. How did someone like him end up living with Castiel?

“Hey, Cas, when you’re done staring, could you pass me my beer, please.” Dean said without taking his eyes away from whatever he was doing to his car’s motor, Castiel almost dropped his glass when he heard him say that. It was the first time he had been so obvious when it came to checking out someone.

“Sorry.” He apologized and gave him the cold beer that was in the middle of three other empty bottles. “I didn’t mean to.” He was just so handsome.

Dean straightened up and took the bottle from Castiel, “Hey, it’s no problem. Let’s me know I’m still hot.” He smiled. How could someone be so cocky and still look unbelievably handsome? “So, like, are you gay or…?” Dean asked so bluntly it made Castiel choke on his drink.

 Castiel coughed, “Wow, could you warn me before asking that so suddenly?” It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable talking about his sexuality, it was just that nobody asked the way Dean did. Nobody asked really, they just got it right away and never bothered to ask again.

“Well, are you? I mean I don’t care if you are, it doesn’t matter, I’m just a little curious that’s all.” Dean thought he could fix the pieces he had just broken with a charming smile.

“I am.” He told him.

“Cool.” Dean drank from his bear again, finishing it this time. “I was just wondering, you know? Get to know you a little better.”

“And that’s the first thing you had to ask?”

Dean chuckled then scratched his stubble-covered cheeks, “That’s the first thing I could think of.” It had been something he had wanted to know since he first moved in but he never found the right opportunity to ask.

“What about you?” Castiel asked. He couldn’t keep his eyes away from that short beard Dean had that fascinated him. It looked so good on him. “You’re straight, right?” It was a stupid question for him to ask because he knew the answer.

“Yeah.” It was the question that constantly punched Dean’s brain. He was straight? He couldn’t fully admit that without remembering all those guys he had checked out in the past, or his little fling with one of the soldiers he was friends with, but that was just experimenting, it was normal for him to seek another’s person’s touch, especially when the only two women in his division were married. Dean could never picture himself with another man as anything else but a friend. He liked women for sure; romantic involvement with guys was a big no-no in his book. “You won’t mind if I bring any lady friends over, would you?”

“Not at all, as long as you’re not being loud and keep me from my sleep.”

“That’s gonna be a tough rule to maintain then.” Dean laughed at his joke which Cas didn’t find funny.

“I’m sure.” Castiel looked to the road. His eyes had caught something that did not belong in the area of his secluded home. It was near the woods, the trees hid nothing from him, except that one thing he managed to find. “Look.” He pointed at the small figure coming out of a bush. “Do you see that?” He had lived in that place for quite a while now, enough time for him to know the area surrounding his house like that back of his hand.

“I see it.” Dean placed his bottle back on the table and ran towards the thing Castiel pointed at. He wanted to stop him, what if it was an injured wild animal that could hurt them or carried some type of disease? Cas saw Dean pick it up, it was small enough for him to carry on his arms without a problem and give him a wide, pleasing grin. It was a puppy.

“Look at her.” Dean held it in his arms like a baby. “She’s a husky. Cas, she has your eyes.” He wasn’t wrong about that; the puppy had bright, blue eyes that almost matched Castiel’s shade. “We should keep her, don’t you think?” He kissed the puppy’s head, “You’re so cute.” Dean told her.

Castiel last had a pet when he was thirteen. It was an old, fat cat that had originally belonged to his brother Gabriel. It died when he was fifteen of natural causes. The animal hated him either way so his passing didn’t affect him like he wanted to. He never had any luck with the pets his parents got him before, they all died a month or so a little after he got them. “I don’t think we should.”

Dean frowned. “Oh, c’mon, Cas, don’t be like that!” He held up the puppy closer to Castiel, “look at how cute she is. She requires love. I’m sure another addition to the house wouldn’t hurt anybody.” His smile returned, “I’ll let you name her.”

“Are you willing to care for her?” He couldn’t believe he was doing this, “I’ll help out and all don’t think I’ll leave her to you the whole time.” Cas finally reached for the puppy and caressed her head. She was dirty, but soft. “I wonder what her story is.”

It was the first time Dean noticed Cas as a man. He was masculine and extremely kind looking, as if he had nothing in the world that could upset him. He also had really amazing eyes, a shade of blue that couldn’t even compare to the blue of the afternoon sky. It was as if every shade blue combined to make that mixture. Maybe he shouldn’t have stared too long but how could he help himself? No…he couldn’t be doing this…he didn’t find Castiel attractive under any circumstances. He wasn’t that way. He didn’t play for the same team. “W-what are you gonna name her?”

“Calabacita _(Kah-lah-bah-see-tah)_.” He didn’t even have to think it through. It was a name from the top of his head. “That’ll be her name.”

“Cala-what?”

“It’s a cuter term in Spanish for the squash vegetable.”

“You know Spanish?”

“Studied it back in college. Most of it stuck around.” It wasn’t the only language he knew. His parents encouraged him and his brothers to study several other languages so they did. While his brothers knew only three or four, Cas knew seven. “If you don’t like it, I could change it?” Castiel’s eyes moved up from the puppy to meet Dean’s. “We could go with Lady Snow.”

“Lady Snow sounds better. Fits her.” He kissed the puppy’s head again; his lips almost touched Castiel’s fingertips. “So are we definitively keeping her? I don’t want to go to sleep tonight and find out you’ve kicked her out the next morning.”

“We’ll keep her under the guarantee that we’ll both be responsible for everything she’s in need of.”

“I’ve had dogs before, Cas.” He smiled again. He managed to get his way as always, “We’ll be her parents.” Dean knew it sounded weird to say it that way but what other way could he put it?

“So, who’s the mom?” Castiel teased and barely looked up from petting the pretty dog. He couldn’t help from smiling at Dean’s reaction, he knew he was teasing and he wanted to play along but he back away in time.

“Definitively not me.” Dean carried the puppy away. “She needs to be bathed.” He brought her up to her face and kissed her nose, “You’re the cutest thing, Snow. Sammy would’ve freaked out by your adorableness and I’m sure Jessica would have claimed you as hers.” Jessica and Sam had a thing for dogs and the dog they had adopted, Bones, was probably all grown by now.

Man, he wished he could see Sam. He remembered receiving one of his letters where he told him he proposed to Jessica and their wedding would be on next year’s summer. It still dragged him down though that he had traded his life with Sam for his ex-girlfriend, Lisa Braeden. To this day, he still regretted doing that, as much as he claimed to love Lisa.

It was a good thing Castiel was a whole different thing in comparison to Lisa and Sam. He didn’t feel like a like he was just there for the sake of being there. He could tell Cas needed him to forget he was lonely and he liked knowing that he was there. He also didn’t feel like hell like he did with Lisa. Yet again he only knew Cas so little, he couldn’t settle his assumptions.

But one thing was certain…Cas was not going to be the same. He was going to be different in ways Dean couldn’t figure out so far.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

“Dean Winchester looks a lot more douche-y than I expected.” Charlie whispered to Castiel as she picked out one of the most recent superhero movies. “Sure, he’s hot and all, but he definitively looks like an asshole.” They had casually encountered on the video store of their town that Castiel hadn’t gone to in years.

It was the first time Cas hadn’t scolded Charlie on her language but that was because he was too busy focusing on something else. Dean was shamelessly flirting with Bela Talbot, the cute, English girl that every guy wanted but was hard to get. Dean didn’t seem to be having a problem. It was very clear that Bela liked him as much as he liked her.

“Cas!” Charlie smacked his arm with the DVD of Guardians of the Galaxy. “Stop staring, they’ll know we’re judging.” It wasn’t like they cared either way; they were too busy giving lovey-dovey eyes at each other. Oh, please, they had just met each other!

Bela and Castiel weren’t friends but they acknowledged each other’s existence. They never bothered to get to know the other as they both had more important things to handle rather than making friends. He never minded her until that moment Dean approached her and they began talking.

He didn’t like the feeling of possessiveness over a man he had just met overtaking him. It gave him a great discomfort but it wasn't like he could help himself from doing it. Dean walked into _his_ house, they cared for a puppy _together_ , and they cooked dinner for each other. He thought he was entitled to feeling that way.

“Are you jealous or something?” Charlie only spoke what she was seeing and she could tell it was jealousy the feeling that was burning a hole into Castiel’s stomach.

Castiel shook his head, finally looking down from staring at Dean with Bela. “It’s not like that.” He reached for the nearest DVD and pretended to read what the movie was about. “Dean looks great with Bela.” If anybody saw them, they’d say the same thing, but they _couldn’t_ happen.

“I guess they do.” Charlie admitted but she saw how her friend was staring at them and how the thought of them being together was devouring him inside.

Castiel walked to where Dean was at, his hand holding a random horror movie he had grabbed from the aisle. Bela stopped talking when she noticed him getting close to him, “I’ve finally chosen a movie, Dean.” He brought it up for him to see. It was My Bloody Valentine. _Perfect_.

“You want to go already?” Dean asked him confused, “I thought you were talking to your friend?” His eyes moved back to Charlie, who gawked at them because Castiel walked away from her without warning.

The truth was, Dean wanted to talk more to Bela because it was obvious that she was into him and she was interesting enough to catch his attention. He had picked out a movie already (it was Captain America: The Winter Soldier) and had just been waiting on Cas but then Bela happened and the tables turned.

“I see Charlie almost every day, there’s not really much for us to talk about at this point.” He lied but it’s not like Dean would know. Charlie was always full of stories to tell, she had actually been in the middle of one before she randomly pointed out Dean’s looks.

Dean looked back at Bela, who just smiled at him, then at Cas, “Just give me a second, Cas, okay?” He turned around to Bela again and gave her a piece of paper from his pocket, numbers were scribbled on it. “Call me.” He whispered and Castiel heard, only making the small fire in his stomach spreading. Dean wasn’t interested in _him_ , why was this bothering him so much?

“I didn’t think the video store could be used to pick up women?” It was the first thing Castiel said as soon as Bella was out of sight.

“Any place can be used to pick up chicks if you try hard enough.” Dean grinned and took the movie from Castiel’s hand to judge it, “Ugh, this movie is terrible.” He set it on the counter where a young man named Alfie waited for them to make a selection, “Nothing in comparison to the original.”

“It has a good actor as the lead.” Yes, _Jensen Ackles_ was a good actor that Castiel admired for a while now. He had never seen any of the actor’s movies but he had seen many posters of his underwear ads for Calvin Klein. “You look a lot like him actually.” Except Dean had a beard and was probably far more handsome.

“There is no way I look like that guy. He’s old and I’m just beginning the beauties of thirty.” He paid the cashier and took the movies in his hands so they could head back home already.

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

Movie night turned out to be more interesting that either Dean or Castiel had planned.

They sat on the couch, a bowl of popcorn on Dean’s lap, and their dog, Lady Snow, on Castiel’s. They stared at the screen, watching as Captain America and the Winter Soldier fought brutally, the tension building up within them because they knew who the Winter Soldier was but didn’t want to say anything in case the other didn’t know.

“This is the best movie, I swear.” Dean grabbed a handful of popcorn and tried to put it all in his mouth. He was a big nerd when it came to superhero movies and it upset that sometimes his commitments to his country made him be behind with the Cinematic Universes he had become an intense fan of. “Too bad I didn’t get to see it in theaters.”

“I was taken to the first showing of this movie as a date.” Castiel mumbled. The date had been a complete fail but at least he had slept with the guy after it. The sex had been intense but it wasn’t impressive enough for Cas to call the guy back.

Dean turned to Cas, “Show off.” When he turned back to face the screen, he felt a slight pain that spread from his neck to shoulders. It had been going on for a while now, maybe because he wasn’t used to sleeping on a comfortable bed anymore, his body still had memories of using the ground to sleep. He dismissed it at first, rubbing it with his hand to temporarily make the pain go away.

Of course, Castiel noticed, “Are you okay?”

He didn’t want to let him know how much it had been hurting, maybe it was because he knew how concerned he’d grow and how he would try the impossible to make his pain go away. It was a nice gesture of Cas’ but it usually got a bit frustrating. “It’s nothing.” Dean said.

Castiel raised an eyebrow, “You sure?”

Dean nodded and went back to looking at the movie. “Totally.” But as the night progressed, the aching only became stronger. It was as if every time he moved just a little bit, a knife was thrown to that area of his neck. He could feel Castiel’s eyes on him. He knew there was something wrong but he didn’t say a thing.

“What you need is a massage.” Castiel suggested, finally figuring out what was wrong with Dean. “I could give you one if you’d like.” He placed the puppy down and moved closer to Dean.

“You know how to give massages?”

Cas nodded, “My brother Balthazar dated this girl that did massage therapy. She taught me a few things.” It was also one of the main reasons why his brother lasted so long with her; he was never stressed when she was around. “Turn around.” He whispered and as Dean did what he was told, Castiel reached for the small drawer next his couch and pulled out a bottle of cream. “Take off your shirt.”

Dean laughed, “Whoa, Cas, we’re moving too fast here.” He reached for the edges of his shirt and brought it up, revealing his strong back to Castiel. His shoulders were adorned with freckles, only making Cas’ admire in awe even more.

He could barely smile; he was too busy admiring Dean’s broad shoulders and impressive backbones. Cas squirted some of the pastel-blue cream into his hands. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Dean’s body heat practically radiated off him, Cas could feel it on his fingertips as he got closer to him. He placed his hands on his shoulder and moved his thumbs to his back, slowly moving them in circular mothing. That got a small gasp out of Dean that made Castiel stop.

Both of his hands moved in tandem, like if they were a mirror in the middle of his freckled back and his thumbs proceeded up and down his shoulder blades, applying small pressure to them. Dean closed his eyes as the pain he had been feeling for days, faded away in one small moment with Cas, “God, Cas that feels great.” He didn’t realize how that had sounded until after he had said it and he wanted to react and go on a rant about ‘No Homo, bro’ but he didn’t want Castiel to stop what he was doing and it was clear that Cas didn’t want to either.

Castiel wanted to stop; he couldn’t handle Dean’s voice when it was relieved, like if was having the best sex of his life. It kind of made him excited knowing just how to get him to speak like that to him. He continued with his movements, his thumbs rubbing against the bottom of his neck, gingerly working up towards the base of his skull.

Being so close to him, with the dim lighting settling a mood for their situation, made Castiel nervous, he was afraid temptation would get the best out of him and he’d do something inappropriate like lean in and kiss Dean’s neck. But how could he help himself when the man in front of him was so hot and tempting? The only thing he could do was sucking it in and biting his lip. “Are you feeling better?” Cas whispered.

Dean opened his eyes, “Oh, um, yeah.” Why did he stop? He was doing so well! He picked up his shirt from the floor, “Thanks.” His smile was uncomfortable, mostly because Dean didn’t know what to feel after that roller coaster of a massage.

Castiel smiled and stood up from the couch, “No problem.” He couldn’t be there, not when his crotch was reflecting exactly how he was feeling through his pajama pants.

“Cas…?” Dean called on Castiel before he left to the bathroom. “Can we not, uh, you know—” He didn’t want to be reminded of how the small arousal he was feeling towards another man’s hands on him.

He interrupted, “Not talk about this?” Cas chuckled. Yeah, that wouldn’t be a problem but it would be stuck on his mind for the next few years or so. “Don’t worry about it.” He forced a smile and quickly paced to the restroom.

Dean ran his hand through his hair. He knew he didn’t like guys, he was a complete ladies’ man, but it was that scene with Cas that made him reconsider that just for a little bit before he dismissed it as a heat of the moment.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

Dean offered to take Castiel out that afternoon to go eat at a friend’s house. He mentioned something about not usually wanting to do that junk but Sam and his girlfriend were going to be there to announce some ‘big news’.

“I don’t think I should go.” Castiel murmured. Even though he had lived in that small town for almost three years now, he still felt like a new kid at school. “I mean, I hardly know the people that live here.” Dean made him dress up nicely and picked out one of his old suits that he didn’t use anymore along with a blue tie.

“You’ve developed their pictures, no?” Dean tried to make his tie but failed so many times that he gave up and decided to not take a tie to the dinner.

Cas could hardly remember what he had for breakfast that morning, how was Dean expecting him to remember all the people he took pictures for? That’s what Charlie was for. “I…I don’t know.” He admitted. He noticed how Dean had put the black tie to the side after failing at tying it properly. Cas picked it up and turned Dean around, “Here.” He wrapped the material around his neck, “You could’ve just asked me, you know?”

It was the first time Dean noted Castiel’s lips due to their closeness. This had been happening a lot lately, every day he’d notice something the other man did that made him smile; his lips made him lick his own. “I’m sorry.” The only reason he didn’t ask was because he didn’t want to surpass his limits as friends again like he had last time.

“It’s fine.” Castiel finished. “You look good.” He meant to say sexy because that’s what he was. The last picture Cas had of Dean was of Dean in a blue button shirt and black tie.

“You don’t look so bad either.”

“I just need to get my trench coat.”

“For what? To look like Constantine?”

“Like who?”

Dean sighed when he noticed that his reference wasn’t going to get through Castiel’s head, “Never mind.”

“Dean,” Castiel grabbed his coat, “Do I really need to go with you? I don’t know anybody and I’ll just be a big drag in there for you.”

“I’m sure they’ll like you. You’re likeable.” He told him that to make him better but even that didn’t take the frown away. “Look, if it’s what you want, then you can stay home.” Dean placed his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, “You don’t have to come with me.”

“Really?”

“Totally.”

He nodded, “Okay.”

“So, you’re staying.” Dean didn’t actually think he’d do it, he was hoping for Cas to feel bad and go with him but he didn’t.

“I’m sorry…” His blue eyes met Dean’s, “But if you want me to…” Deep inside him, he wanted to hear Dean beg him to go with, to accompany him in the awkwardness of seeing his family again but, just like he didn’t say he’d go with him after all, it didn’t happen.

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

Castiel couldn’t believe he was doing this for Dean. It didn’t take much for him to regret his choice. All Dean did was walk out of the house and start his car. Lady Snow stared at Castiel, telling him to go after Dean and tell him he _did_ want to go to. It was also clear that Dean was waiting for him to rethink his choice and come running into his car because he waited outside for like five minutes before he decided to slowly drive off. Cas took his trench coat and ran outside to tell Dean to stop and tell him that he’d go.

Dean parked his car next to a black Mercedes that clearly belonged to Sam, “Do I owe you anything?” Dean smiled to the man sitting next to him.

Castiel shook his head and mumbled, “You do not owe me anything. It’s a friendly gesture.”

“Thanks, Cas. This means a lot to me.” It really did. Castiel didn’t know anyone from town, much less anyone related to Dean, but he was still going because they were friends. Dean and Cas had become good friends over the little time they had lived together and this was proof of it.

“You did a great job at making me feel bad, by the way.” Castiel didn’t want to tell him that but he couldn’t help himself when it was exactly what he had done.

Dean laughed, “I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention.” It was totally his intention.

“Who else is here besides your brother?” He asked.

“My mom, Bobby and Ellen, her daughter Jo, and his girlfriend Jessica.” He smiled, “They all thought it’d be nice to celebrate my return. It’s been almost five years since I last saw them so…” Dean got out of the car and Cas followed a little after.

“Five years?” He asked when he reached up to him.

“Five long, suffering years. And I’m not referring to the war.” He spoke about his ex, Lisa. She had been something indescribable in his life in both good and bad ways. He was, in the beginning, really happy with her and then the blindfold came off and he saw her for who she really was.

“What if they don’t like me?”

“They will.” He stopped in front of a large wooden door and rang the doorbell. In about a minute, after the laughter that came from inside the house died off, a blonde young woman, opened the door.

“Dean!” She threw herself at him to give him a welcoming hug. “It’s been too long!” She noticed Castiel standing behind them and she backed away, “And you’ve brought a friend.”

“Hello.” Was all he could say. Castiel hoped he would go longer being unnoticed.

“Oh, yes, um,” Dean brought Castiel forward and introduced him, “This is Castiel Novak. Cas, this is Jo Harvelle.” They shook hands.

“Well, come on in!” Jo said and gestured them to the door. Castiel waited for Dean to go in first before he followed. The home was two stories high and was dimly light, giving the home this sort of tone as if everything had been glazed in gold. The smell of freshly baked food made Castiel realize how hungry he was and how he hadn’t eaten since the morning.

There two other blonde women standing in the living room, one older than the other statuesque with curly golden hair that was clearly in a relationship with the tall man with the long, brown hair that stood beside her. There was also a bearded man and short woman with dark brown hair organizing the table for dinner. All conversations stopped when Dean walked in.

The woman that was talking with the tall couple was the first one to reach for Dean and pull him into embrace. There were tears in her eyes, “Welcome back, honey.”

“Thanks mom.” Dean smiled.

After several minutes of hugging and compliments towards Dean, Castiel’s presence was finally acknowledged. Sam, Dean’s brother, spoke, “You’ve brought a _friend_?” Castiel wanted to ignore the way Sam had said friend, as if Dean never brought friends but his current partners.

“Yeah, this is Castiel, my housemate” Dean gave Sam a warning look when he saw Sam’s teasing smile after he had said _housemate_ , “Cas, these are Bobby, Ellen, Sam, Jessica, and my mom, Mary.”

“Nice to meet you.” He shook everyone’s hand and gave them the least fake smile he knew.

“Nice to meet you too, Castiel.” Mary said. “So, Dean’s housemate.”

“It’s a long story mom.”

“We’ve got all night.” Said Sam.

“We’re not here for that, _Samsquatch_.” Dean warned. It had been so many years since high school, and Sam still held him accountable for _that_? They were brothers; they weren’t supposed to hold dark memories against each other.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be such a grumpy squirrel.”

Castiel smiled awkwardly at what was going on between the siblings and it reminded him of his days with his brothers. They would always bring out the worst stories on the worst moments. What a great way to tell your family loved you.

“Why don’t you two idjits stop fighting and sit down so we can have a proper dinner to celebrate Dean’s return and Sam and Jess can get on with their big news.” Bobby spoke. They all did as the man said and took a seat on the large table. Cas, due to not knowing anyone, took a seat next to Dean, which seemed to upset Jo for some reason.

“So,” Jessica said to Castiel, “Are you the photographer at Novak Pictures?” When she saw his confusion on how she could have possibly known him when he had never seen Jessica in his life before, she added, “I know Charlie. We used to take English together back in college.” She smiled, “Anyways, Sam and I were looking at your photos and we’d love it you could photograph our wedding.”

That had been so sudden that Castiel choked on the drink he had just served himself. “Oh, um, sure.” He said and smiled. “Since you’re a friend of Dean, I’ll give you a discount.” He grinned when he saw the smile on Jessica and Sam’s faces grow.

“Thank you so much.” Sam grinned and grabbed Jessica’s hand, “This means so much to us.”

“No problem.” Dean had mentioned to him about his brother’s wedding. He told him about how they had been going crazy planning that damn wedding to make it just perfect, even if it was eight months away.

For the rest of the night, Dean spent talking with his family and trying to involve Castiel into conversations so that he would have something to do instead of sipping his drink awkwardly. The only one that seemed to really get along with Cas was Jess. She managed to get many laughs and topics out of him, including some of his embarrassing dates he had been taken to and his terrible prom night where he took a major bullet for his then best friends.

Castiel turned out to get along with Dean’s family so well that Bobby and Ellen invited him back for their Thanksgiving dinner. Even Mary enjoyed Castiel’s companion, and she usually disapproved many of Dean’s friends.

The only one that seemed like she couldn’t stand Cas, was Jo. Dean understood why. She had the biggest crush on him and Sam wouldn’t shut up with his comments about how Dean and Cas made a cute couple and even called them _Destiel_ once while they shared a small talk.

Jo stood up from the table, excusing herself so she could go to the bathroom, when Sam and Jess decided to announce their big news. “Mom, Bobby, Ellen, Dean…” Sam started but Jessica finished.

“I’m pregnant! It’s been a week already.”

Everyone stood up to congratulate the couple. So, that was the reason of why their wedding was going to be sooner than what Dean had told Cas? Castiel never got the news that he was going to be an uncle from neither of his brothers but this whole scenario hadn’t been new for him. He remembered when his cousin Anna announced the same thing three years back during the Christmas dinner.

He knew this must’ve been a big deal to him so he wanted to congratulate him too but after scanning the people in the room, Dean was nowhere to be found. His assumption was that he was probably outside, crying it out. Those were great news and he probably didn’t want to be seen that way.

So Castiel made his way to the door and opened it to see if Dean was outside and sure enough, he was. His hands covered his face as he sobbed into them. Castiel wanted to comfort him, that it was a great thing that his family was going to increase and that he’ll make for a great uncle.

But before he could even take a step, somebody else approached him. It was Jo. Dean smiled through the tears that rolled down his cheeks and he mouthed, “I’m going to be an uncle, Jo!” Then he laughed.

“C’mere.” Jo pulled him into a hug.

Cas stepped back, ready to close the door and give them so privacy, even though they didn’t seem to notice his existence, but something glued his feet to the ground and kept him where he stood. Was it protectiveness? Anger because _he_ wasn't the one comforting Dean? It all seemed like several feelings but they all tied to the same thing: Jealousy.

He looked down to his shoes. Maybe he could pretend as if he was looking for Dean and interrupt the moment or he could open the door and say he wants to go home. Dean would definitively do that—

When he looked up, he wasn’t expecting to see the scene that was occurring in front of him. Dean and Jo were kissing. It was like a kiss from those Romance films adapted from Romance Books. It was sweet and longing, like they had both been waiting for the right opportunity to do it.

“Dean.” His name escaped his mouth. Castiel had only been thinking it, he never meant to say it.

Dean quickly separated from Jo, “Cas!” He sounded surprise, almost as if he didn’t want anyone to know about him and Jo even if it was obvious to everyone.

“I was going to ask you if we could head home already but…you’re busy.” Castiel held back his tone of the raging jealousy from sounding off in his words but the longer he stood there, the harder it became.

“You wanna go home?” He quickly glanced at Jo. “Okay.”

“I’ll go get my coat.” Castiel forced a smile and went back indoors. Was Dean worth it? Did he really want to play that type of game with him? Could he fall in love with a straight man and manage to live that life?

No, he couldn’t do this to himself. The pain would only be greater in the end. He wasn’t going to stand there and wait for Dean to hurt him like his past relationships had. He wasn’t going to follow him around with the hope that one day maybe he’ll be noticed and be seen in a romantic way.

So, as Castiel picked up his trench coat, he decided that he was not going to fight for Dean. It wasn’t worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

For Halloween, Charlie invited Dean and Castiel to a party at a bar, where Charlie would be meeting with her girlfriend, Dorothy, and Dean would be taking his newest girlfriend Jo. Cas was the fifth wheel of the group.

“Hey, Cas, it’s okay.” Charlie stood behind him to fix the angel wings of his costume. It was the only thing that made his clothes seem like an angel getup. He only wore a white shirt with black jeans. “At least you’ll be going there to get laid.”

“I’m the only single one.” Castiel looked at himself in the mirror. He didn’t understand what was so bad about him that other guys didn’t want to date him. It’s not like he was one of those people who asked for much or was very clingy to their partner. He was also handsome, with eyes bluer than the sky and attractive messy hair, which didn’t excuse why he wasn’t a head-turner. Of course, he had become extremely picky with his candidates ever since he gave up on his housemate, Dean Winchester.

Charlie looked at him, “Look at it this way, you’ll be able to come home with some random guy and have super-hot sex with him.” She knew Castiel, as tempting as it was to agree with her, he did not want that. He was at that point of his life, where almost at thirty, he wanted to settle down with someone, not just have one-night stands.

Instead of fighting her about how he didn’t want to do that anymore, he nodded. She wasn’t wrong. He felt vulnerable after giving up on Dean and some random hot guy he would meet at the party could take that away. It wasn’t as if it was hard either, all he had to do was sweet-talk some handsome lad and in no time, he’d have him eating out of his hand.

Too bad that hadn’t worked on Dean.

No, he couldn’t be thinking of that. Dean was with Jo and he was happy with her, he liked her. Cas couldn’t be the thing that made them ill-fated, the barrier that kept them from their fairy tale ending.

“Yeah,” Cas said, “You’re right. Tonight is my night, and I’m gonna talk to some cute guy and get laid.” That sounded just about right.

She finally finished working on his costume and patted his shoulder to signal him she was done. Cas looked at himself in the mirror. Somehow, Charlie managed to make those wings they bought at a dollar store, look a worth a lot more than what they had paid for them. She also made the straps somehow blend in with his shirt. “This whole angel thing really fits you, Cas.”

“I can’t wait to hear all the angel pickup lines.” He smiled, satisfied with how he looked. “If I get any, that is.”

“You’ll get plenty, believe me.”

He was about to respond to her with some comment regarding his appeal when a knock on the door interrupted him. It was Dean.

“Hey.” He walked in, his firefighter costume already in place. God, he looked so handsome. It was unbelievable how good it fit him and how hotter he’d look with just those dark yellow pants and red suspenders. “An angel?” Dean raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

“I thought you were going as Captain America?”

“The costumes were sold out so I decided to go as a firefighter instead.”

 _If only you didn’t look so great as one_ , Castiel thought then bit his lip. Charlie noticed and nudged him forward so that he’d be closer to Dean. “Um, what is Jo going as?” He considered in telling Charlie something but everything he wanted to say to her was rude so he kept it to himself.

“A nurse.” Dean tried so hard not to look up and down to Castiel because he knew he’d be obvious about it. Cas looked really good as an angel, it fit him. It was so him, and he was effortlessly pulling it off, even adding sexy to the equation. “You…you ready to go?”

Castiel nodded, taking his trench coat from the bed, a playful smile forming on his lips as he noticed the way Dean was staring at him. Damn right, he’d be the hottest angel in the party.

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

Castiel had been approached by a couple of guys at the bar. Some were handsome, some too old for his taste, and others a little too young to be allowed in there.

Dean was with Jo, he couldn’t keep his arms away from her and other women couldn’t keep their eyes away from him. There was a few that approached him and tried to flirt with him but they weren’t anything Jo couldn’t handle.

 Cas turned out to have terrible luck that night with picking someone to spend the night with. There wasn’t one guy that’d spoken to him that he found interesting. All of them wanted to get to their purpose right away, one even suggesting for them to do it in the restroom. Gross.

Charlie and Dorothy were the hottest couple on the dance floor. The way they moves together like they were one caught the attention of many people, that many made space for them to dance. Usually, Cas would join them to move around a little and give the night a purpose, but that night was different. He was looking around the night club, searching for someone who might be into him.

But he wasn’t so lucky.

He didn’t want to be picky, but if a guy with caramel colored hair and bright, green eyes, had approached him, he wouldn’t have hesitated in— _wait_ …

He shook his head. No, he couldn’t narrow it down to those possibilities. The only one that had those qualities was sitting next to him with his lips locked on his girlfriend. He refused to do this to himself so he made his way out of the cornered booth and started walking to the bar. Yes, what he needed was a drink. He didn’t want to get a headache from the incredibly loud music.

After trying to get through the several groups of people that danced too close to each other and another set of angel compliments, he made his way to the other side of the club where the bar was at.

Cas sat on the red-cushioned stool next to a man that was texting on his phone. He called the bartender over, “Hey, can I get a coke, please?” He said and the guy nodded. He didn’t know how much his friends were going to drink so he chose to be the sober one.

His soda was served in front of him and as soon as the bartender walked away to attend someone else, Castiel took a large gulp from the drink. It hadn’t made him feel better but it sure as hell calmed down the heat he felt.

“Whoa, easy there, angel.” He hadn’t that the man next to him had looked up from his phone and was staring at him. The man was tall and handsome with blonde hair and light green eyes. He didn’t have a costume but the navy blue shirt that he wore fit him a little tight that it showed off his muscular physique. “You might choke if you continue to chug like that.”

“I was just very thirsty.” He mumbled, trying not to stare too long at the kind smile that the stranger gave him.

“I can tell,” He chuckled, “But don’t worry about it, I understand. This place is a little hot and dancing tends to get exhausting.” His phone rang and he quickly checked it before looking up at Castiel again.

Dancing was very tiring even though he didn’t do much of it.

“I like your wings, by the way.” The man pointed out, “They’re nice.”

Castiel raised his eyebrow, “What, no angel related pickup line?” He had had enough of them to grow a hate towards them but he wouldn’t mind getting one from the hunk in front of him.

The man shook his head, “I’m assuming you’ve gotten enough of those already…but you can’t really blame them. The whole angel costume seems pretty appropriate for you.”

He smiled, “Oh yeah?”

The man extended his hand towards Castiel, “I’m Gadreel.”

It was an odd name but…fitting. “Castiel.” He took Gadreel’s hand and shook it.

“Castiel? As in the Angel of Thursday?”

Cas had never met anyone that knew the meaning of his name. His parents loved Angel names and he’d gotten stuck with the weird one he’d get mocked for when he was younger. “That’s the one.”

“I’m named after the Angel that let the Snake onto the Garden of Eden.”

Yikes. “That’s cool.”

“Are you here alone?” He asked.

“No, I’m here with some friends.” Castiel looked back to where Dean and Jo were sitting. Charlie and Dorothy were now with them, laughing about something.

“Me too.” Gadreel pointed at a table not far from where Castiel’s friends were at, “I couldn’t be with them while they were like that. It’s sad.” He joked, “Would you like another drink, Castiel? I could get you one if you’d like.”

“No, no thank you.” He said, “I’m good.”

“So, what brings a guy like you to this zoo tonight?” Gadreel dragged his chair closer to Castiel and soon after, Castiel did the same.

“My friend and her girlfriend dragged me here.” He left out the part of them wanting him to get laid. As much as he would’ve wanted to, Cas didn’t think Gadreel was of that type.

“Mine wanted for me to get out. According to her, school was getting to me. “

“School?”

“I’m a High School History teacher.”

It didn’t suit him considering he was this big, built guy, but at the same time…”I’m a photographer. I own a shop.”

“Oh!” He was impressed, “That’s nice! I knew photographers were good-looking, but I never imagined it to be true.” Gadreel’s smile grew wider when he saw Castiel’s cheek redden. “My pick-up lines are lame, I know. God, I’ve been told many times—”

“Actually,” Cas paused, “They’re not all that bad.”

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

Dean spotted Castiel. He was with a taller man, smiling and looking like high school teenagers that had an obvious crush on each other. It was rare view; Dean had never seen such a big smile on Castiel’s face before.

It caused this sort of fire in his stomach, like what he was seeing just wasn’t right.

“Looks like Castiel found someone to spend the night with.” Jo commented as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Spend the night with a guy like that? God, Dean thought Castiel would have a better taste than that. The guy looked so dull. Sure, he was taller and more muscular than Dean was but he gave off such a boring vibe that he couldn’t understand how he could create such a tender smile on Castiel.

“He could be a drug dealer for all we know.” Dean said. He knew it was a dumb assumption but he felt some sort of protection over Cas.

“How would you know?” Jo asked.

“The nicest looking people tend to be the darkest. I’m speaking from experience.” He’d known a few psychos that were as kind looking as the man Castiel was talking to, and they’d told him some of the weirdest and gloomiest shit…

Without realizing, Dean was standing up, carefully setting Jo aside. She gave him a puzzled look but dismissed it and turned to Charlie and Dorothy, who’d sat down after hours of dancing.

He walked amongst the crowds of sweating people and sexual dancers that couldn’t help themselves from rubbing turning to Dean and attempting to approach him.

Castiel was laughing while the other guy spoke, “Seriously, Cas, that kid says some of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard come out of a sixteen year old’s mouth. You wouldn’t believe…” His voice faded as quickly as Castiel’s laugh when he saw Dean stand next to Castiel. How could he call him _Cas_? He didn’t even know Castiel that well to have that level of trust…

“Dean?” Castiel stared at him, the sparkle that he had when he was talking to the stranger, going away when their eyes met. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He lied. No, nothing was _fine_. Nothing would be if Castiel continued to talk to that guy.

“Is he a friend of yours?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He chuckled, “Gadreel this is Dean. Dean, Gadreel.” He introduced them and when they shook hands, Dean felt as if at any moment he’d go on a fight with this Gadreel like in a videogame. What kind of name was that?

“Nice to meet you, Dean.” He smiled. 

“Cas, may I speak to you privately?” Dean didn’t want to sound so demanding but he couldn’t help himself.

“Um…sure?” He stood from his stool, exchanging confused looks with Gadreel as Dean led him to a private location. Well, it wasn’t private because there were people around but they were far away from Gadreel so he wouldn’t hear.

“Really…?” Dean whispered, “You’re gonna go with him?”

“What wrong with him?” He asked. Last time he checked, Gadreel was so lovely, not only physically, but personality wise too. Oh my, he couldn’t believe he was gushing over him. Castiel hoped that it wasn’t reflecting on his face.

But it was. because Dean was frowning, “You don’t even know him…he could be like Ramsay Bolton and you wouldn’t even know.”

He tilted his head in confusion, “I don’t understand that reference.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “I mean, he could be some sort of serial killer…”

“Okay, Dean,” Castiel laughed, “Calm down. Gadreel is nowhere near that. He’s a History teacher. The only thing he could possibly torture me with is with extensive talks about the importance of the Civil War, but luckily for me, he won’t.” At least he hoped so.

“You don’t know that.”

What the hell was wrong with Dean? Why was he suddenly so worried? He didn’t seem to care when Castiel was sitting next him, all bored, while he and Jo made out. “Dean, you and Charlie convinced to come here to get laid and that’s what I’m trying to do!” Even if he couldn’t get Gadreel to bed, Castiel didn’t mind, He enjoyed the other man’s company.

“With him? From all the other candidates that came up to you tonight…you’re gonna go with _him_?”

“Well, yeah…he’s not weird or old. He’s actually funny and thirty-two! Did you want me to go with one of those boring old men?” He took Dean’s silence as an answer, “Oh my God, why them and not him?”

“I don’t trust him, okay? Something about him just doesn’t seem right.” Gadreel wasn’t supposed to make Castiel be interested in him. He was supposed to be a boring know-it-all that only wanted a one-night thing with Castiel. He and Cas weren’t supposed to give each other adoring eyes when they spoke.

“What could you possibly not trust about him? He’s a damn History teacher! You brought me here to find somebody and I did! Don’t forget that I’m the one choosing, not you.” Castiel spat and stormed off to where Gadreel waited for him.

Gadreel caressed Castiel’s arm when he sat down, his eyes full of concern, which didn’t help Dean’s situation over what it was that made his act so possessively over Castiel. It’s not like he liked him anything…

They were friends, for God’s sake! It was only natural of him to feel so greedy. He was going to protect Castiel in case Gadreel turned out to be a creep with weird fetishes. _Cas was his_.

What…? No, it wasn’t like that. Dean was straight, he had a gorgeous girlfriend, and Cas was his friend. This was just protection over a friend. Sure, he didn’t like how Gadreel leaned in to Castiel to say something that made him laugh again, or the way his hand was too close to Castiel’s…

The music didn’t help either. For Dean’s situation at least. For Castiel and Gadreel it was very fitting, very romantic to get them in the mood.

He couldn’t be there. Not if Castiel was going to stare at that Gadreel like he was the only person in the world. So, he checked to see if his keys were in his pocket, and when they were, he walked out of the club. He was going to take a very long drive…


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

 

There hadn’t been a minute where Castiel was away from his phone even since he’d gotten Gadreel’s number Halloween night. His eyes always had that sparkle that no longer belonged to Dean. 

Dean thought of it as a phase, that as soon as something happened or he got what he wanted out of Gadreel, that the brightness would be gone and everything would be back to normal. Dean knew that from experience when he’d gone through it with his ex, Lisa Braden.

It’d all been rainbows and sunshine in their relationship, until a man walked up to the door of the place they’d gotten together and claimed that Lisa was expecting their child. Lisa had been cheating on him while he was away at the army. 

He knew that comparing that situation with Castiel’s was unfair but just like he did with Lisa, Dean felt cheated? Like, he and Castiel had something special, a bond, and this Gadreel just showed up in their lives and ruined it!

It was also childish for him to get all worked up about it, especially since he was with Jo, but how could he help himself when his friend no longer paid attention to him and instead was devoted to his cell phone’s screen like a teenage girl?

They were sitting down, on the table, Dean eating leftovers from last night’s dinner when warmth reached his hand.

“Dean, are you okay?” Castiel’s hand touched Dean’s and it made him feel better about what he was feeling, “You seem a bit off today.” Cas speaking to him like that now felt odd since he only used that soft tone when he was talking about the History Teacher. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” Dean moved his hand away, “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

Castiel chuckled and sat on the chair across him, “Is Bobby still giving you a hard time?”

Bobby was still angry at Dean for not writing to him while he was away, sure, just like Ellen, but he’d stop giving him a hard time a long time ago. It was this feeling that was provoked by Castiel that threw him off edge. He didn’t know what it was, but it was familiar, he’d felt it before with Lisa but…

“Why are you all dressed up?” Dean asked when he suddenly noticed Castiel’s attire. He wasn’t in his usually draggy getup, he was dressed nicely in a white button up shirt, the first two buttons undone, that gave him a very attractive masculinity that he clearly didn’t need still sexy as hell, a pair of jeans that weren’t worn out or ripped and nicely adjusted to his legs, his hair fixed, and a very nice scent of cologne that Dean had never smelled on him before. “Are you going to see him?” Dean asked, trying not to sound poisonous. 

From the way Castiel’s cheeks reddened, he’d gotten his answer, “Yes,” He still confirmed it even though he didn’t need to anymore, “He said I should visit him in school and we could have lunch together.”

“A classroom for a date?” Dean wasn’t impressed, especially because he knew Castiel enough to know that it wasn’t his ideal place for a first date. “And you’re still hung up on him? That’s impressive.” Dean scoffed. 

“I know it’s not perfect, but we’ve been trying to arrange something for days now and this is the best both of us could work out.” 

Wait, wait, wait, they’ve been planning this for days?! Cas and Gadreel had been yearning to see each other for days? “And what are you going to do?”

“Well, hopefully, have a better approach to each other, maybe arrange a date for another time and hope this works. I really like him, Dean.” And Dean could see the dreaminess in his eyes, the same one he had had when he spoke about Lisa to his army mates. 

“Are you sure you’re not just infatuated?”

Castiel looked offended, “No. I truly like him, Dean, I’d appreciate it if you were a little bit supportive of it. What’s gotten into you anyways? All you’ve been doing in complain about Gadreel when you hardly even know him.”

“Well, so do you.”

“That’s not true.”

“You’ve only spoken to him through the phone; he could’ve been rehearsing what to say so you got what you wanted.”

“How could you say that?” Castiel took a stood up, “I like him, Dean that’s what matters, not if you do. He’s my choice, not yours.”

“Whatever, I’m just trying to be a friend, you know? There’s something about him that I don’t trust, and clearly it’s just me that sees it.” He didn’t realize it, but his words came off as toxic and from Castiel’s reaction, he noticed his mistake.

“I’m gonna go, Dean.” Castiel seemed hurt over Dean’s hostility when he walked away from him. If he could’ve, and cowardice hadn’t taken over him, he would’ve apologized but before he could take a step forward, Castiel was beyond reach and if he didn’t do something about it quickly, he might never get to him again. 

-.-.-.-.-.-

Castiel hadn’t stepped on high school grounds since he was eighteen and doing so again, brought back memories of his four years of misery. He didn’t have a bad high school life like most would assume, he just hated the place and people. 

The secretary told him that Gadreel’s classroom was on the second floor, fourth one to his left. It was easy to find since from all the doors, Gadreel’s was the one that was hardly decorated. 

He knocked on the door and waited for the door to open. He was expecting for Gadreel to greet him but instead it was a woman with short brown hair. She scanned Castiel, obviously fascinated by him, and just said, “Nice.”

“I-I’m sorry?” Castiel asked.

“He described you as handsome but I never imagined you to be so hot.” She continued, her smile only growing bigger the longer she stared at the confused Castiel.

“Hannah,” The door opened wider and Gadreel intervened, “Leave Castiel alone, please.” He smiled nervously and grabbed Castiel’s hand to bring him into his classroom. It wasn’t as clean as the ones he was used to from television, but it did have fantastic lighting from the enormous windows. His desk was in the back of the class with two chairs and a bag of food awaiting them. 

This wasn’t how he would’ve liked to spend their first day but at least it was one of kind. How often was he going to have dates in a classroom on a Friday afternoon? 

“I’m sorry about my friend Hannah, she’s usually not like this.” He looked at the woman behind them who gave them a mocking grin before walking out and finally leaving them alone. 

“You told her I was handsome?”

“I told her many things about you.” He admitted. “But clearly she only focused on your looks.” 

“And you didn’t?” Castiel asked, sitting on the chair Gadreel offered him.

“In the beginning? Sure.” He laughed and grabbed the bag on his desk. “But not anymore. I am more intrigued by what you say than how you look. You’re interesting, Castiel, it’s one of the many reasons of why I had to ask you out.”

“Is that so?” It’d been a while since he’d even felt so connected with someone that it made him all giddy and melted him inside. Well, there was Dean, but putting so much hope on someone only led him to disappointment. 

“Yeah.” Gadreel handed Castiel a plate of Chinese food, which they had agreed to that morning before meeting up, and a bottle of water. “I mean, you’re really great, I would’ve never even dreamed of meeting you during a Halloween party.”

The Halloween party had been a plan changer for Castiel as he’d gone in there hoping to sleep with someone who would probably walk out on him in the middle of the night but instead he’d met a pretty cool guy who he’d developed a huge crush on. If only Dean could see that…

“Can I ask you something?” Gadreel said, moving his chair closer to Castiel’s, “That Dean guy, he’s your friend, right?”

Castiel swallowed his sweet chicken almost choking on it. That was a little weird to ask…? “Yes, he’s my friend…why?”

“Oh, nothing, I just assumed you two to be together since he was being a little possessive over you that night. The way his eyes filled up with possession when he approached us gave away an impression of you two being…intimate?”

Dean had acted out of the ordinary, he usually never batted an eye at what Castiel did romantically, but that night had been very different. While he was usually busy with Jo, this time he was all over Castiel, warning him about Gadreel and telling him so many bullshit excuses of why he should stay away. “We’re just friends.” He laughed, “He has a girlfriend.” He wanted to say that Dean was just acting as a friend and being overprotective. But was it really that? He could only hope… 

“Ah, that’s good. I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself if I were chasing after a taken man.”

“I’m single.” He said, a flirtatious smile forming on his lips.

“That’s absolutely great.” Gadreel said, “Maybe, if you’d like to, of course, we could fix that…you could…” He leaned in closer to Castiel, “Start dating me?”

Their eyes met, it was the first time Castiel saw someone else in green eyes like those. Dean faded for that moment. It was all Gadreel. He was causing a fire within him that he’d felt with Dean, except a little stronger. “I would love that.”

“Seriously?” Gadreel asked, taking Castiel’s hand,

Castiel nodded. If this was his way of moving on from a love that could never be, he didn’t mind at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so weak for Casdreel, I'm sorry. But don't worry the next chapters will have a lot more Destiel.


	8. Chapter 8

8

 

A tension had grown between Dean and Castiel, one that neither wanted to bring up. Things had changed in very noticeable ways ever since Cas told Dean he was dating Gadreel. 

In the beginning, Cas thought it was Dean being a jerk about Gadreel again with his irrational suspicions, but through time, he knew it was something more. He never mentioned it, but it was always present and it made Castiel uncomfortable.

He didn’t know what he could complain about, Dean had Jo, he had Gadreel and they were happily dating, but it felt like there a something missing in him, like if a hole burned itself into him. 

Dean always said he was okay with them being together as long as Castiel was happy, but Castiel could tell that something always wanted to escape him to ruin the new relationship. It was so obvious in Dean’s face that the only time Gadreel had come over to Castiel’s home, he asked him about it. 

“I know you’ve said Dean has a girlfriend, but are you sure he’s not interested in you?” The question of course, took Castiel by surprise and he found himself looking over his shoulder at Dean, who was reading a magazine, but every now and then his eyes raised to stare at Castiel for a long five seconds.  

He assured Gadreel again that Dean was just being protective but that only made his boyfriend more suspicious. 

Dean hadn’t cared about him before, so why the sudden possessiveness? Was he really being a friend or was he just spiteful of Castiel’s relationship?

He tried to tell himself it didn’t matter several times but who was he kidding? This wasn’t Dean. This wasn’t the same man he’d developed a crush on…this was Dean as a vicious ex. Even if they’d never dated, Cas had been enough relationships to be able to distinguish that kind of nasty attitude. 

That night, Castiel had come back from work after a busy day of running errands, ready to fall asleep as soon as he reached his room. When he unlocked the door, he wasn’t expecting to bump into Jo. 

Her hair was messy, the left strap of her black dress was torn, and there was a very obvious trail of hickies on her shoulders and neck. Castiel didn’t tell her anything, and from the way she actually said hello to him, he knew what had gone down while he’d been gone. 

He gulped, ready to tell Dean something, about how indecent he’d been to bring Jo into their home to have sex. But he realized…who the hell was to tell Dean what to do? He wasn’t going to judge their relationship like Dean did to his. 

When he’d walked into his kitchen, he expected to see Dean getting dressed or at least gone to his room. He didn’t want to walk in on shirtless Dean with a bottle of water in his hands. That was scenery he didn’t want but needed.

“S-seriously? Here? With Jo?” Castiel started, the nervousness of his voice reflecting in the beginning. Dean was already hot as it was, but he didn’t think he’d actually get hotter than that. He thought fully clothed Dean was the limit, but shirtless, he was a whole different level. 

“She’s my girlfriend, what am I supposed to do?”

“Rent a motel room or something?”

“This is my house too, you know. Besides, coming here was her idea. I wasn’t going to fight her.”

He made it sound so simple but Dean didn’t understand the panic Castiel felt of not knowing where the hell he had sex. “Okay, whatever.” He sighed, he wasn’t in the mood to fight him about him, and looked down so that he could avoid his eyes roaming all over Dean’s body. 

“You jealous?” Dean asked in a mocking tone.

Castiel scoffed, “I’ve got nothing to be jealous about.”

“Of course.” Dean said with a teasing smile that had an effect on Castiel. Where was that possessive mood? How come he wasn’t giving it to Castiel…it was odd… “How was your day? I bet that teacher must be fun on dates.” And there it was.

“He was busy today, we couldn’t meet up.” Gadreel always had time for him, so it surprised him a little bit when he excused himself that afternoon. He wasn’t going to hold it against him, it was his job and Castiel wasn’t gonna make him pick him over it. Also, it not like he would’ve had time for his boyfriend either, it was Sweet Sixteen season and every teenage girl and boy in town was piling up to hire him, specifically that afternoon. 

“You don’t know if he really is doing that. He could be with someone else.” Dean sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him.

Castiel shook his head and stopped in front of Dean, “Don’t even start; I’m not in the mood for that tonight.” The sight of Dean was mesmerizing the more he looked at him. He always knew Dean was built but it felt as if that night, his body was specially outlined for Castiel to stare at it like an idiot. 

He was about to walk away but Dean caught his hand and pulled him back to him, “I was kidding, okay? You shouldn’t take my comments too seriously, dude, I’m just messing around.”

Cas wanted to ignore the electricity that ran through him when Dean’s hand grabbed his, but it was going to be a long time before he did so. “Does it always have to be about my relationship?” He said, his voice perfectly hiding how he was really feeling. 

From the way Dean looked to the side in a thinking manner, Castiel knew what he wanted to say and he backed away. “I just—”

“I’m going to bed. Good night.” Thought it was funny how easily Dean could kill the mood of their moment. It shouldn’t have surprised him, he knew him enough to know he’d do that. 

Dean ran up to Castiel, reaching for his arm this time, “Okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t know the things that come out of my mouth but every time you bring him up, it upsets me.” Dean realized what he’d said at the same time Castiel did and his eyes widened in surprise, “I’m speaking as a friend…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Castiel agreed with him even though he felt otherwise. “As a friend…” He rubbed his cheeks to make the blush disappear. Cas couldn’t believe that the feeling he had for Dean decided to show up again.

“I’m just being protective over you—”

“Did you ever see me as something more?” Castiel asked. He thought about that question a lot and he never found the moment to ask Dean until then. His feelings had always consumed his bravery but now that they were fairly close, it seemed as if finally let him be. Maybe it was still astonished by Dean’s immense beauty or the way those intense green eyes always seemed like they could devour him on the spot.

“I don’t know, Cas, I mean I don’t roll that way—”

“Answer honestly.” He said, his blue eyes slowly analyzing Dean’s face, mostly his lips.

“At times.” Dean admitted with a sigh of defeat. “I can’t help myself.”

Castiel smiled and backed away, setting a reasonable distance between them. That was all he needed to know. “Good night, Dean.” He knew what he was doing and he hated to leave Dean like that after his admission. It wasn’t a good idea, but it felt good to finally know and be able to understand Dean’s bitterness.

Cas felt like he would be able to sleep properly now that he knew that Dean at least thought about him once in a while. 

-.- ****.-.-.-.-

 

Dean couldn’t believe Castiel got him to say that. Sure, every now and then Cas would pop up into his head whenever he was having inappropriate thoughts, but he always assumed it to be something natural that was bound to happen amongst housemates. 

Sometimes it happened when he was with Jo, usually when they were making out, and it took him a while to know as to why. It was because he was upset about Cas being with that Gadreel. Finally, he admitted it. 

Even after if it’d been a while since Castiel announced his relationship, it still sort of affected him as to why he’d date such a boring looking guy. Yes, he was jealous, he told himself that the first time when Cas brought in Gadreel into their home. It sickened him to see how affectionate those two could be without kissing.  

Those same moments also made him question his relationship with Jo. Sure, he liked her a lot but it couldn’t compare to his recently discovered feeling towards Castiel. What he felt with her was nothing to what he felt when he was with Cas. 

What he felt towards Castiel was…stronger? He hadn’t felt the way he did since Lisa and what he had with her had been really intense. 

He didn’t want to dismiss his feeling as just jealousy and the way Castiel left him that night didn’t quite help his situation either. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt heated…aroused. Castiel was just so damn breathtaking, especially those blue eyes and tasty lips of his. 

Dean could no longer help himself around him and he was afraid that if they were as close as they’d been again, he’d do something irrational that could make or break them. 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**9**

 

Gadreel was just as impressed as Castiel was when it was him the one that leaned in for their first kiss. They both agreed to take this at their own pace, but Cas pressed himself against Gadreel to kiss him, that was certainly something neither were expecting. 

Not that they minded, of course, it was just a bit of a surprise. It was even a bigger one when they found themselves unable to stop. Suddenly, they were panting, pulling on each other’s clothes and tugging on their hair, urging each other to take this to the nearest bedroom or couch.

Castiel wanted this as much as Gadreel did, he could tell from the way his arousal rubbed against his stomach and how he suddenly got a little dominating in handling Castiel in ways they both enjoyed. But, somewhere, there was a restriction in between them, something that stopped them when they reached a certain point in their heated session that made them stop from devouring each other on the spot. 

“You okay?” Castiel asked, breathless.

“Yeah. Are you?”

Castiel chuckled, “Probably a lot better than I should.” He felt his cheeks, they were very warm. It had been a while since he’d been this heated with anyone, or kissed anyone, actually. He didn’t know about his boyfriend. 

“We should probably wait it out, don’t you think? Today doesn’t seem like an appropriate day for either of us. We’re both kind of tired from work and I want it to be special…” He paused, “I hope that doesn’t come off as cheesy.”

Cas shook his head, “No, not at all. You’re right. We should wait until the time is right.” Although he didn’t want to. It had been a very long time, it felt, since Castiel had sex but he was willing to wait for Gadreel. He couldn’t help himself from leaning for another kiss, this one softer and quick. Castiel wouldn’t be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t been waiting for this moment. 

He only wished that when he opened his eyes to look at Gadreel, his mind hadn’t played a trick on him and turned his face into Dean’s, unleashing butterflies he never thought he’d feel again in his stomach. It was probably because his eyes were around the same shade of green and his hair a lighter blond. 

This couldn’t be happening to him. He wasn’t with Dean, he was with Gadreel and he loved him a lot, but this was different. How could his mind want Dean, when the other man barely realized his feelings for him?

He shook his head, surprising Gadreel with his sudden gesture. “Is everything alright?”

Cas looked up quickly to make sure that he wouldn’t see Dean. He sighed in relief when he didn’t, “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” Castiel assured him but, oh how he wished he believed in himself.

Gadreel smiled and leaned in to kiss Cas’ forehead, “Do you want to go out for dinner? I’m starving.” He placed his arm around Castiel’s firm shoulders and brought him closer. 

“Me too. We should have burgers for dinner.” Even though he held himself back from showing how he was really feeling on the inside, the thoughts of Dean Winchester haunted him. He could feel them ghosting his skin and head and if he could’ve, he would’ve screamed about it, but for now, he could only follow his boyfriend and suck it up.

**-.-.-.-.-.-**

 

He didn’t know how many he had had, but Dean felt the effects of the alcohol overtaking him quicker than any other time before. Maybe it was because Castiel was still out with his boyfriend or as he had told him before he left, “with Charlie”. Or maybe it was because he didn’t want to tell him how he felt.

He’d been alone all day, Cas was gone since the morning, and it made him realize that without him, he didn’t know what to do. Dean had grown to depend on him in the time they’d lived together and that had never happened to him. 

Things had been different since he admitted to Castiel that yeah, he thought about him. The tension that was already on the air when they came across each other was now stronger and more suffocating. The intensity of their stares had increased dramatically, too, due to the restriction that held them back and the desire that consumed them. 

 It was the second time the cassette played from the beginning and even though there were only ten songs, it felt as if fifty had played in total. He just sat on the couch listening to the music fill up the house, petting the dog, and opening bottles of beer. 

 He was in denial about his feelings and it ashamed him that he had to be drunk to be honest to himself about it. Dean slowly fell in love with him and it wasn’t until Cas started a relationship with Gadreel that he realized it. It wasn’t until he walked away from the opportunity of having him that he knew who he wanted. Jo was good, but she wasn’t Cas. “It’s a good thing you’re still a puppy.” He whispered to the sleeping dog, “You don’t know what I’m feeling.” She might’ve not know but she observed enough to consider Dean and Castiel her parents. “And I…I hope you never do.”

 His eyes quickly looked up from the canine when he heard the door open. It was the same as always: drop the keys first into the bowl next to the door, hang his trench coat, then walk into the living room to sit down for a while. Castiel was not expecting to see Dean sitting where he would usually think about his day. 

“Hey.” He smiled, “You’re up.” He noticed the empty bottles of beer on top of the coffee table, “And drunk?”

“Very.” Dean confirmed. “How…how’d it go with…your boyfriend?”

“Gadreel still is very kind to me, if that’s what you wanted to know.” Castiel sat next to Dean and carried the sleeping puppy onto his lap, “We had a nice dinner.” Dean noticed the hesitation in Castiel for asking more when the answer would be the same one as always, ‘Just working at the garage’. “Oh, that’s a nice song.” Castiel shook his head and commented when a new song started on the stereo. 

“Fooled Around and Fell in Love by Elvin Bishop.” Dean turned to Castiel, “One of my favorites…” He offered his hand to Cas, “Do you wanna…?” He didn’t finish his sentence hoping that he would understand what he was trying to say. 

“Dance?” Castiel’s eyes shifted from Dean to his hand as the singer’s sweet voice began: 

 

_I must have been through about a million girls_

_I’d love ‘em and I’d leave ‘em alone_

_I didn’t care how much they cried, no sir_

_Their tears left me as cold as stone_

 

“It’s a nice song and it’ll help me free my mind.” 

“I don’t know, Dean, maybe we shouldn’t—”

 “C’mon, Cas, don’t be like that…I probably won’t remember this by tomorrow morning if that’s what concerns you.” He stood up and grabbed Castiel’s hand, “I don’t ask for many things so just do this one thing for me.” It was true, Dean never asked anything from him and now that he did, Cas was denying him. 

He placed the puppy on top of a pillow, “Okay, I guess.”

 

_But then I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love_

 He took Dean’s hand and he stood up. Dean grabbed Castiel’s waist and brought him closer, Castiel’s placing his hands on Dean’s shoulders. It seemed as if everything he felt for this angel became stronger the more he was with him and bringing him close only made it worst for him. Not just that, but this was probably the worst song they could’ve danced to due to their situation. 

 

_It used to be when I’d see a girl that I liked_

_I’d get my book and write down her name_

_But when the grass got a little greener on the other side_

_I’d just tear out that page_

 

How could this have happened to Dean? How did his friendship with Castiel manage to turn into something more than that? “I wish I didn’t have to be drunk to tell you how I feel, Cas.” He whispered against his ear as their hips slowly moved together as one. 

Castiel rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and chuckled, “I wish I wasn’t sober to hear you say that.” God knew it was killing him inside. 

He tried to tell himself that he wasn’t falling for Dean, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t take so little to push him, but having him so close and pressed against him made him reconsider. What was he going to do now? 

 

_But then I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love, since I met you baby_

_I fooled around and fell in love_

_I fooled around and fell in love_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating between Destiel and Casdreel. Bless them both.


End file.
